1. Be interested in what they have got to say, ask questions
When people are talking to you, be interested in what they are saying. Ask questions, show a genuine inquisitive nature into what they are saying. If you have a similar experience to what is being talked about, mention it but try to avoid taking over the conversation.
2. Don’t preach or babble on when you are speaking.
Make sure you are keeping your listener’s interest. Don’t drone on even if you are talking about your specialist subject!
“The trouble with her is that she lacks the power of conversation but not the power of speech”. George Bernard Shaw (1856 - 1950)
3. Take it in turns to speak.
Even if you feel you have got more to say on the subject, part of getting along with people is taking turns. Remember when you were a child, your mum and your teacher would tell you to “take turns” well it’s just the same now you are grown up! It makes it fair and people feel they can say “their piece”.
4. Don’t interrupt.
People who interrupt are rude. They feel they have something important to add that is more important than the person speaking. It shows a lack of respect for the person talking and gives off a “me,me,me” aura which is never an attractive quality.
5. Always give praise or encouragement when the opportunity arises.
"Everyone wants to be appreciated, so if you appreciate someone, don't keep it a secret." Mary Kay Ash 1915-2001, Founder of Mary Kay Cosmetics.
Make your compliments genuine and giving. Do not expect a compliment back but you’ll be pleasantly surprised that people usually reciprocate.
6. Discuss points of view but don’t argue. When two conflicting points of view disagree do not become disagreeable be tolerant and have an open mind . It may be better to say “I hear what you are saying but let me explain my point of view”.
“The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right place but to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment”.Dorothy Nevill
7. Have a positive and cheerful demeanor
Emit positive energy and enthusiasm. Check your physiology, stand up tall, look the person in the eye, be vital and lively. Everyone has and aches and pains and things going on in their personal lives but you don’t have to burden everyone with it. Keep up the energy. This will be infective. People gravitate to positive people.
"I am determined to be cheerful and happy in whatever situation I may find myself. For I have learned that the greater part of our misery or unhappiness is determined not by our circumstance but by our disposition." Martha Washington1732-1802, First American First Lady
8. Be aware of other people’s feelings.
What you may think is humorous may be hurtful to the person you are talking to. You may think it’s funny but you may alienate yourself from the other people in the group.
“One of the best rules in conversation is, never to say a thing which any of the company can reasonably wish had been left unsaid”. Jonathan Swift (1667 - 1745)
9. Avoid gossip
If you engage in gossip about others you are unlikely to gain the trust of anyone new you are talking to. Gossip has no value and can be extremely hurtful and destructive.
10. Enjoy the moment
You won’t get this time back again. It’s gone forever. Feel grateful that you are chatting and communicating, learning, interacting, maybe even making new friends. Life is for living and you are part of it. Jump in and enjoy!
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